I will kill you in your sleep, so you better try, try and keep awake

Fibromyalgia- if it were a living breathing person I would smash it over the head repeatedly with a brick.

Just when you think you have a handle on things another symptoms appears.

Just when you think you've collected all the really shitty non-terminal yet debilitating symptoms another really weird one comes upon you.

This is why I am sitting up, blurry eyed at 5 am unable to sleep. I seem to have come across something truely fucked up, we're talking bad-LSD-trip fucked up.

No doubt you've heard my bitch of my bedroom being the local meeting place for spiders...NOT.FUCKING.AWESOME... anyhoo, I thankfully have only woken up with one crawling on me and haven't been bitten.

In the last week and a bit my skin has been going crazy, in the LSD freakout way. At random times it honestly feels like there is something crawling on my arms and legs.

This happens day and night, i've actually watched my arms to see what the fuck is going on, in short i can see the hairs on my arms moving without external stimuli. The nerves in my skin are firing for no goddamn reason and it freaks me the fuck out.

I've recieved treatment for this [involving needles in my neck to treat the radial nerve causing this shit], i hope to god this fucks off in the next day or two.

Between this bag of shitastic fun and my usual symptom fuckery I'm slowling going insane.

The misadventures of Bruce and Shiela... an epic tragedy

Nothing gets on my tits more than people painting the Australian people as a bunch of quaint hicks. Crocodile Dundee, Steve Irwin, Kath and Kim and that episode of The Simpsons are like nails on a chalkboard for me.

Unfortunately, for the right price large corporations like Oprah and McDonalds can bribe an Australian "celebrity" to pass off a stereotype as the truth.

The Aussie stereotype means fuck all in today's society. In fact for it to be accurate we would all have to live in the Outback deserts of Northern Territory, drink XXXX beer while wearing an Akubra, blue wife beater and khaki shorts.Due to being at the arse-end of the world people have no idea what Australia is really like.

A long lost relative in America got in touch with us recently, he spoke about America and how they have these awesome things called "roads". Yup, apparently we haven't heard of such a thing in Australia. A European crossword puzzle stated the Uluru (that big fuckin rock in the middle of the Aussie desert) was in the USA... part of the Grand Canyon apparently.

Admittedly i am a bit of a bogan (an uncommon Australian coloquialism for red neck.) I do use the term budgie smugglers and occasionally refer to a male as a bloke, but this is a rarity. The truth is that depending on where you are in Australia there is a different type of person.

Here's some of our own stereotypes:

Melbourne Stereotype - Coffee drinking, business types. Think Seattle without the grunge

Sydney Stereotype - Colourful and fun yet still civilised. Think California

Brisbane Stereotype - Its also called BrisVegas...guess why

Darwin Stereotype - See Australian Stereotype

Hobart (Tasmania) - Olympic Peninsular meets Deliverance. Wet and inbred.

Adelaide - renoun for their water the way that Mexico is, your corpse could end up in a barrel of acid

Perth - Mining town full of men (actually when i visited there it was like a warn version of Canada. Clean and polite)

Canberra - no one actually has a stereotype of Canberra because its just a giant roundabout that holds all the politicians. Its meant to be our nations Capital.

I'm a Melbournian. I live in the suburbs, I used to commute to the city for my financial administration job and my wardrobe consists of mostly black. More importantly; I avoid McDonalds like the plague because it tastes like utter shit.

I can tell you if someone I worked with suggested going to Maccas for a business meeting they would be hardcore ridiculed, same if they refered to someone as a bloke or a sheila.

Things Australia is fuckawesome at are:
- Science
- Our healthcare system shits all over yours (unless your French or Swedish, you dudes have a pretty sweet deal)
- Our Wine and Beer shits over many other countries' wine and beer

Things that are not so fuck awesome:

http://www.cracked.com/funny-163-australia/

admittedly i have not encountered any of those beasties. Although, i seem to have an infestation of white tail spiders in my room- they're about an inch and a half long and some carry a flesh eating bacteria...not so awesome.

We also have some really nasty snakes in my state...but other than that Australia is pretty ok and mostly non-Redneck

Spencer Bell Legacy Review

The Spencer Bell Legacy is the biggest event in the Monkey Swimsuit Calendar. It’s a pilgrimage for Spencerians and groupies, inspiring us to open our hearts to a man who had incredible talent, insight and wit.

Thanks to the devotion of fans far and wide, as well as a live feed of the Spencer Bell Legacy; the music, the man and the meaning has become internationally loved and respected.

@MarisGraupner helps with the Spencer Bell Legacy Europe (http://www.spencerbellmemorial.eu/) and runs another Spencer Bell website in Dutch (Www.SpencerBell.Hyves.nl ).

As well as being a passionate Spencerian, Maris is also the Queen of #Gutterville:

My Review about last night can be summed up in one word:
AWESOME. But, that's not a good review.

The first show started at 8.30pm CET, and I was all ready too watch it. A huge thanks goes out to DEB BELL for making it possible for us to watch the first show on Ustream.

You could feel the love all around, and the bands were great. Evro, The Kissing Club, Drew and the Medicinal Pen, Tin Tin Can, Shawn Fernando, The Stevedores, the 100 Monkeys.
They were all there for the love for their friend. At the first shows there were also the winners of the ACC contest and Lea Haworth, awesome ladies, with great voices.

The second show started at 2am CET and i am SURE Spencer was there too because we lost the Ustream, a prank only Spencer could pull. *High fives*. We loved it.
Thank god the chairs were gone, and we could see the crowd go wild and I heard a lot of Spencer songs passing by. I almost cried with EVRO's version of Better man.
The music was great, the bands were awesome and being in the chat and on Twitter with all the Spencerians was a great thing to do.

We were all there for the same thing, to honour Spencer and to enjoy the greatest bands. I was completely blown away by the Stevedores. Drew and the Medicinal pen amazed me.
Evro and the Kissing club were as great as usual, and Shawn Fernando rocked.
Most of the viewers in the chat were there because of the 100 monkeys, and they blew us away with their show.

I think I pissed off the neighbours with the loud music, but I didn't really care.
I waved at the computer a few times when I saw people in the audience that I knew and I bounced around the room.
I laughed, I cried and I shared it with all the friends I found because of Spencer.

Thunderdome made me cry again because I realized the show was really over.

Thanks Bill, Deb, Evro, Drew and the Medicinal Pen, Tin tin can, Shawn Fernando, The Stevedores and 100 monkeys for bringing Spencer closer again, for sharing the love.

There were more than 600 viewers on the Ustream at some point. So I can say you all did a good job.

Thanks for everything!

Embrace this moment!

Mariska

@FenixMJR is a fellow #Guttervillian, 100 Monkey fan and joined us in watching the live stream:

A Cathartic event, full 100 monkeys effect. That is how I felt watching SBL for the first time. I felt immerged in that atmosphere of hope, joy, love and friendship.

I was not able to watch the first show, I was at work and only watched a bit of 100 monkeys at the end. I was totally anxious for the night show. All of us from twitter were super excited and talked about it all the time in between. When the live feed was active it was a joy ride from beginning to end, every band that went on stage was fabulous with so much good energy and hope. Singing for their friend, to remember him, to honour him, to thank life, to make things happen, to create awareness, all those amazing things that our society lacks these days. The energy was transmitted to us too via the web, we all felt it, it was like we were there.

Every time I think about Jackson speech at the end I start to cry, it was so beautiful, and I am thankful to be a part of that, to share this moment with so many incredible friends, my twitter Monkeys friends are the most incredible things that happened in my life, I never felt a connection like that with strange people from all around the world, and I have the Monkeys to thank for that, because of them I made the most incredible friends, (all the #GutterVille talk is us friends messing around and having fun) I love you guys with all my heart and I got to know so many incredible musicians, like Spencer, Evro, The Kissing Club, Drew and the Medicinal Pen, Tin Tin Can, Shawn Fernando, The Stevedores, that makes my life better.

I am still a bit overwhelm by it, now I know how a religious person feel when they are blessed, is like you are being embrace and consume by something that is bigger and better them you.
Thank you,
FenixMJR

SBL was an mind blowing night of unity, joygasms, tears, laughter and Spencer. We drank a shot in his name and chilled out to music written by Spencer and inspired by Spencer. We grieved with the Bell family, the bands and friends of Spencer Bell. We smiled at the memories recounted and the joy of the music.

All of us around the world connected through the concert in Callaghan’s. All geographical limits dissolved through the live stream. It was an uplifting celebration of the short life of an amazing man.

I feel the necessity to write something in this thing now that i've made a real entry.

The weird thing about illness is how it changes your perspective and motivation. One of the negative perspectives focuses on the limitations caused by illness, however at the same time it can be extremely liberating. The whole "one door closes, a window opens".

This illness i have is controlled by negative emotions, however i can't help but wonder how much the symptoms are exaserbated by strong negative emotions. For example, if you feel like shit and dwell on the fact you feel like shit are the symptoms worse than if you were to distract yourself from the physical effects of the symptoms. I have no idea.

There is proof that emotions changes brain chemistry which in turn alters the body's physiology, but how do you balance that information against the severity of symptoms?

*Shrugs* I'm going to get back to my crotchet.

http://blogs.news.com.au/heraldsun/andrewbolt/index.php/heraldsun/comments/column_its_not_the_oil_but_the_slick_greens_who_should_scare_you/

This guy annoys the crap out of me, so I wondered what a day in his life would be like. Here's what I came up with:

Andrew looked at the reflection in the hand mirror. He was checking to see if the sun really did shine out of his arse. This was a daily ritual for him, he was hoping that he had transcended from his place among the great unwashed, his most avid readers. He loved the choir he preached to so regularly, but he felt they kept him back from his true potential.

He was exulted by his readers, but how could he progress further? Would the people he appealed to be able to keep his pedestal steady if he tried to reach further into the unknown? Their world was parochial, that’s why they relied on his especially fragrant brand of bullshit. His perception of the world drove them, spurning their own views. It was the fuel for his ego. But did it taint him? Is this why there was no sunshine today?

This thought process was part of the daily ritual. He brought his attention back to the hand mirror. Two blue eyes met one brown. The sun may have been in hiding, but it was this view that kept his world turning. It was going to be another glorious day.

I dont really want to blog considering most of it will be petty whining, i have twitter for that shit (at least it limits my bitchings to 140 chars) so am just using this to make comments on other peoples blogs MWAHAHAH.